Special Post

It's a sad day, today.

One year ago, one of my colleagues, Sarah Chapman, was killed while riding her bike to campus, being struck by a car. This was a great shock to everyone--and I mean everyone, since Sarah was so well known in the college community--, and it still feels very surreal that the girl who sang "Under the Sea" while on the bus in Berlin last May isn't here to sing that ever again. I also remember wanting to shove a sock into her mouth because I was tired and grumpy that day, but I often overlook that fact in favor a looking back with a very fond nostalgia for her singing.

Sarah was one of my travel partners during a class trip to Germany (Munich, Nuremberg, and Berlin) in May 2008. She and I had gone to the same high school, she being a couple of grades below me. We re-met randomly at the dentist's office in Athens in December 2007, whereas she began chatting away and asked if I had a Facebook account so that she could add me as a friend. We didn't speak much at all during the class, though she did message me rather jovially, asking to borrow a DVD... Needless to say, we didn't really get to know each other. But, we shared an important memory: that of visiting Germany for the first time, and having a desire to return to this country.

When Sarah died last year, I was surprised at just how much it affected me. Here was a girl whom I hardly knew, who was only twenty years old when she died, whose fearlessness at being social with complete strangers at once amused and, for some reason, kind of annoyed me. I'm kind of ashamed at admitting that last one. I think it was because of all of those reasons that I was so...so hurt. Hurt is the right word. It wasn't fair that she died so soon, that someone that brazen and curious about the world passed away so young.

Looking over that, it seems that I'm saying that had she not been young or just Sarah that it would have been all right. To all of you thinking that: just shut up.

Sarah's death occurred when I was applying for the Fulbright grant. Herr-Dr. J. and I were rushing through things because, true to form, I procrastinated. I remember the day after Sarah's death, he and I were in his office, talking about what had happened. I managed to compose myself until he told me that I didn't need to worry about the grant, that it's okay if I decided not to do it. Before I left the office to cry in someone else's office, I told him that I had to do this. I knew that I needed to do this.

For Sarah.

Cheers to you, Sarah. One of the reasons why I'm here is in your memory. Thank you for being a part of my life, however little we really knew each other.